Sunday, January 4, 2009

Too much of nothing unawesome makes awesomeness turns mediocre

Delaqroux Inc Updates.

Today i went for my last visit to Selayang Mall and Selayang Capitol. Got my pair of new glasses ready and i have to go pick up some new shoes (one's a boot and the other for sport n activities) and as usual, i met up a bunch of my schoolmate. Funny that when you're chao-ing somewhere far off and its your last chance to say goodbye, you rather not to. Maybe as you cant handle the feeling.

Regardless, it was a chanced encounter with some of them and everything was okay. We talked for awhile then say goodbye, then i met another one, talked, say goodbye, repeat, repeat and repeat for a couple of times (never know Selayang can be this small sometimes). Everything was good and truth to tell; there is not much to be emotional about saying goodbye to those fella as i'm not really close to them. But then again, when we were talking, i cant help but to answer that i'll be gone to Aussie for two years for all of their "so what are you doing now?" question. I dunno why but it just felt hard to tell the truth. For a few times, i simply replied that i am studying but they will continue on pinning me with questions till i go into the fact that i'm studying TESL.... and i just finished my first year.... and i'll be continuing my studies in overseas for awhile. The responses i received was definitely compliments but they dont make me any happier. I dunno how to say it. Its just that none of them will be doing anything in their studies such as studying abroad so all of them will still be in Malaysia for a couple more years. I'm the only one so far (and Kartheik who's a pilot now) and that kinda makes me feel lonely. Those guys can still have reunions in this oncoming two years and i wont be able to join them. Of course going to study abroad is awesome and all but sometimes, what's the point of awesomeness if i'm the only having it among my friends? I feel kind of an outcast. I feel like I'm an animal from a big herd who finally manages to go on the top of the food chain, only to find out in the end that i'm the one there. The feeling's kinda sucky. I hate being lonely and yeah, i'm the only having this 'awesome' moment of going overseas that it gets nothing but mediocre. Yeah, i feel lonely...

In the end, i ended up saying "there's nothing awesome... i'm just going someplace far, far away for awhile just by myself... there's nothing awesome..."

Bleh....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hahahx. juz noticed sumtin. "someone"'s blog got rated R.

you're not advisable to teach the nation then. Poor thing. you'll hv to find another job.