Delaqroux Inc Updates!!
for some reason, i accidentally mistyped "Delaqroux" as "Delacroix"... Whoah.. Change of identity? Or a lil too much of last night that part of my braincells has permanently decided to shut down? 0.o
Anyways, back to the update! The past week had been so much fun. Yeah, i am still stuck in dull old MacQuarie without actually being able to explore anyplace further away but yeah, like how the saying goes, "if you get lemons, you make lemonades" so if you get green lime, you make GRENADES!!! lolololz. Yeah, making fun out of nothing at all is a hard skill to master, but once you actually have the mastery and the oppoturnity to transmute pure fun out of thin air, of course with the involvement of lunacy, you'll get.. well.. hell lot of fun! So here's what have been happening so far throughout the end days of O-Week.
Yeah, i joined a few more clubs which was deemed to be such a stupid move by some, cool by others. Personally, i think it is a dumb move. I mean, seriously, where can i get that enough time to be active in all of the clubs? However, with some activities i attended (and will be attending) so far, i'm not gonna regret it one bit. And the issue about time? Well, so far everyone;s been claiming that this place is boring with nothing better to see and do. So isnt time something you shall be lavished with? So i thought if i'm not be able to spend money like water over in this place, i'll spend my time like money instead! Anyways, the additional club i have joined so far is (let's just do a quick run-up this time ok?);
9. DramaC
Drama Club of MacQ uni. Somehow, i know i will be overwhelmed by other ppl's talent if i'm to try auditioning for any roles (i'm not good of an actor unfortunately) but the booth lady claimed that they were short of script writers. Aha! That's where i shall come in!
10. MacImpro
Impromptu acting group where you get random roles upon every meeting and you try to act it out unaccordingly, unrehearsed, uncut and uncensored.. kinda starting to sound like one of those insurance ad...
11. RedFrog
It's more like some Christianity Fellowship group but they focus more on the urban aspect of life; meeting ppl, doing charity works, organize parties, and most importantly, having nice clean fun. I'm so in.
12. Skeptic Club
With their catchline "Hmm.. smells like bullsh*t", this club goes around myth busting. If there are any supernaturals claimed to exist in this physical world, the skeptics will try to use mind over matters to prove if it's just a hoax. Cool.
13. J @ M
It stands for Japanese @ Macquarie (or something like that). Yes, i know; "what's a Malaysian doing in a Japanese group?" but no, this group does not centers only for the Japanese. Just consider it as an iClub with Japanese cultur theme.. (and Japanese girls :p)
14. Macquarie University Biology Society
No, they dont study biology per se but instead, they study wildlife. So their activities will involve such activities such as bushwalking, whale watching, kangaroo watching (?) etc.
15. St John Ambulance
Remember the times when i was in the Red Cross at school and i kicked myself out as the society start getting more and more marching-oriented? Yeah, maybe i should give the such group a second chance, no?
I hate how i often say stuff like "quick run-up" or "go on the surface level" but ended up typing stuff like nobody's business. Regardless, there is actually 4 more clubs that i have joined but i dont think i should be mentioning it here. It's kinda like an undercover group (well, at least for me :p). But eitherways, that's all for O-week up until now and with so many activities lining up for next March, i hope i just have enough time to blog about them. Til then, jaa!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Shinichi Osawa
Delaqroux Inc Updates.
And, no, this has nothing to do with the porn actress Maria Ozawa (it's spelled with an "s" not a "z" so its not pronounced the same way anyway) and neither does it talk about anyone of the Ozawa family- yeah, Maria Ozawa dont have a sister as far as i'm concerned of.. Well, not really. I mean, it will be of my concern if she does have a sis. Will she be as hot as Maria? i wonder if she does have a sister and both of them are in the adult film industries.. and, yeah, there's a scene with both of them start making out with one another... like... frenchkissing... tongue action... Whoooooooaaa.... **fantasy-ing**
AHEM!
So, yeah, Shinichi Osawa is actually a name of a dish that i created just yesterday (the dish is ardy one day old today.. awww. where's my yummy wummy Shinichi??) Okay, i know some of you all might be looking for some other link to exit this blogpost at this point, thinking that darkie has already gone cuckoo due to excessive heat in aussie but, hark! Allow me to explain the story behind Shinichi Osawa.
It was just a normal night when i was kind of feeling emotionless. Note down here that i am not emo or anything, it is just one of those moment when you dont feel like feeling anything (Is that even possible??) so you just sit down and minimize physical movement as much as possible. So there i was, looking around facebook and found out that Adam left this little link on my profile wall about some song with a funky clip. Feeling bored, i followed the link and it took me to an MV of "Our Song" by Shinichi Osawa. Yeah, the video clip was weird (or otherwise funky, yes) and it features a day of a japanese lady who was all alone in her life when everyone around her have someone to love (You tend to like something the most when you can relate the closest to it, dont you?). Regardless, everytime the song hits the chorus, the lady will face the camera and do some funny dance along with the song. It is a cute little dance which is supposed to be cheerful but the lady wont be smiling at all and it all mix together and the audience can connect with the irony and the loneliness of the lady.
Yeah, so that's Shinichi Osawa, the singer band for "Our Song". So what does he have to do with a dish? Well apparently, i went downstairs and thought of making dinner. I still have some leftover spaghetti from yesterday and some of its sauce too so i thought i'm just gonna reheat everything up. Yes, i did. But halfway through while i was in the process of reheating the spaghetti, i felt so much like the lady in the MV when i saw two couples passed by our house and before i know it, the chorus of the song started playing in my head.
Well, no, i still refuse to do that stupid dance (it is cute dance after all but trust me, i dont think i want to be seen doing it) but i ended up cooking extra violently. I tossed the spaghetti into the pan instead and start frying it. Well, the sauce? Yeah, i chuck them into the pan as well and start frying all of them together. And when i realze it, i found myself tossing in all manners of sauces i can find in the kitchen (six different types of them in fact) as well as spices and peppers. I dunno what i was thinking but every movement in my cooking represent the tune of that song but soon, that song in my head reached the ending and i stopped cooking. Inside the pan at the moment is a dark red colored spaghetti which seem to be the fiasco result of my mood swing... and it was supposed to be my dinner!! Oh well, of course i mixed it up with all kind of stuff but it is still food so might as well just gulp that down. Suprisingly, it tasted great! I thought it was just my imagination but just to be sure, i called all my housemates to give it a taste as well. They, too, claim that it is an awesome dish. The sour taste of the tomato spaghetti is added with the sweet taste of sweet chilli and too even that taste out, i mix it up with extra hot chilli blend that maintains the sweetness, but adds up a lil hot spicy taste down the spine at the end of every bite. It's a masterpiece!! I ended up cooking extra plates of that spaghetti meal for everyone and yeah, they enjoyed it.
So, when they ask me what exactly did i cooked up, i realized that i have no idea what it is actually. But one thing for sure, i cooked a dish based on a song and yeah, that's what i'm gonna call the meal; Shinichi Osawa!
And, no, this has nothing to do with the porn actress Maria Ozawa (it's spelled with an "s" not a "z" so its not pronounced the same way anyway) and neither does it talk about anyone of the Ozawa family- yeah, Maria Ozawa dont have a sister as far as i'm concerned of.. Well, not really. I mean, it will be of my concern if she does have a sis. Will she be as hot as Maria? i wonder if she does have a sister and both of them are in the adult film industries.. and, yeah, there's a scene with both of them start making out with one another... like... frenchkissing... tongue action... Whoooooooaaa.... **fantasy-ing**
AHEM!
So, yeah, Shinichi Osawa is actually a name of a dish that i created just yesterday (the dish is ardy one day old today.. awww. where's my yummy wummy Shinichi??) Okay, i know some of you all might be looking for some other link to exit this blogpost at this point, thinking that darkie has already gone cuckoo due to excessive heat in aussie but, hark! Allow me to explain the story behind Shinichi Osawa.
It was just a normal night when i was kind of feeling emotionless. Note down here that i am not emo or anything, it is just one of those moment when you dont feel like feeling anything (Is that even possible??) so you just sit down and minimize physical movement as much as possible. So there i was, looking around facebook and found out that Adam left this little link on my profile wall about some song with a funky clip. Feeling bored, i followed the link and it took me to an MV of "Our Song" by Shinichi Osawa. Yeah, the video clip was weird (or otherwise funky, yes) and it features a day of a japanese lady who was all alone in her life when everyone around her have someone to love (You tend to like something the most when you can relate the closest to it, dont you?). Regardless, everytime the song hits the chorus, the lady will face the camera and do some funny dance along with the song. It is a cute little dance which is supposed to be cheerful but the lady wont be smiling at all and it all mix together and the audience can connect with the irony and the loneliness of the lady.
Yeah, so that's Shinichi Osawa, the singer band for "Our Song". So what does he have to do with a dish? Well apparently, i went downstairs and thought of making dinner. I still have some leftover spaghetti from yesterday and some of its sauce too so i thought i'm just gonna reheat everything up. Yes, i did. But halfway through while i was in the process of reheating the spaghetti, i felt so much like the lady in the MV when i saw two couples passed by our house and before i know it, the chorus of the song started playing in my head.
Well, no, i still refuse to do that stupid dance (it is cute dance after all but trust me, i dont think i want to be seen doing it) but i ended up cooking extra violently. I tossed the spaghetti into the pan instead and start frying it. Well, the sauce? Yeah, i chuck them into the pan as well and start frying all of them together. And when i realze it, i found myself tossing in all manners of sauces i can find in the kitchen (six different types of them in fact) as well as spices and peppers. I dunno what i was thinking but every movement in my cooking represent the tune of that song but soon, that song in my head reached the ending and i stopped cooking. Inside the pan at the moment is a dark red colored spaghetti which seem to be the fiasco result of my mood swing... and it was supposed to be my dinner!! Oh well, of course i mixed it up with all kind of stuff but it is still food so might as well just gulp that down. Suprisingly, it tasted great! I thought it was just my imagination but just to be sure, i called all my housemates to give it a taste as well. They, too, claim that it is an awesome dish. The sour taste of the tomato spaghetti is added with the sweet taste of sweet chilli and too even that taste out, i mix it up with extra hot chilli blend that maintains the sweetness, but adds up a lil hot spicy taste down the spine at the end of every bite. It's a masterpiece!! I ended up cooking extra plates of that spaghetti meal for everyone and yeah, they enjoyed it.
So, when they ask me what exactly did i cooked up, i realized that i have no idea what it is actually. But one thing for sure, i cooked a dish based on a song and yeah, that's what i'm gonna call the meal; Shinichi Osawa!
Monday, February 23, 2009
O-Week Kick(ass)Off!
Delaqroux Inc Updates!
Today, the campus finally feels like a campus and our lives as uni students, well, actually feels like one once again. I'm not sure if that's saddening for some people but for me, i rather be out in the sun, venturing from one block to another, looking for classes rather than coping up restless in my room when it's such a nice weather outside. Kinda give me a sense of purpose and according to Dr William de Jean earlier this afternoon "everything we do is for a purpose" followed by, "knock your table"(?) Well, in any case, while mass lectures are already online, tutorials are still put on hold up till next week. This is due to the fact that it is still the uni's orientation week and yeah, booth were set up with all-out open registration for clubs and stuffs. I did joined a few as well (and even planning to join even more tomorrow) and i guess i better note it up here before i forget them. Might serve as some guide for those who havent joined any as well.
1. Malaysian Student Association
Everyone claims that it's compulsory but i'm not so sure. I thought it was just an association, no different than other clubs around but eitherways, everyone was super esteemed to join. When i popped the question to everyone who joined in about why the club is compulsory, the only answer i get is; "i dunno. Got free food"
2. Muslim Student Association
I know how i never have any interest on Nuqaba or pretty much any religious clubs in Malaysia but it'll be a good change to venture and find out how does the religious views differ from around the world, even if it's the same religion. And hey, they have a goodie bag and free candies! lolz
3. Student Publication Association
This isnt really a club but its an organization which publishes... well.. monthly, i think.. magazines. You can submit photos, articles, artworks etc. eventhough you're not a member, provided you stick with the month's deadline. But if you do sign up, you'll get email updates on the magazines. If you always have something worth a scoop for the mag, why not, right?
4. Zines Club
Zines is short for Magazine but, as the name implies, it minifies the concept. Yeah, zines are just simple self-made magazines of your doodles, made for the fun of it with no commercial value or whatsoever. So it you love journalism and art, dream of publishing a mag of your own then this is the club for you.
5. Vote 4 Green!
This is pretty a much political club in which they fought for a greener cause (like global warming and stuff). Think of it as a unit of hippies.. i mean, earth lovers and cross it out with a political society that voices out their rights; and there you have it. Dont vote Greed- Vote Green!! (no, i didnt make that up, it was their catchline)
6. Oaktree Club
No, this has nothing to do with conserving the environment. Oaktree, however, is a charity organization that believes that the world of poverty and hardship can be saved with the power of education. Basically, you can get the idea on how the club activities goes like and if you're interested for the cause, join right in!
7. iStudent Association
Whoo-Hoo!! I joined the ISA! Except this time, the ISA does not arrest people but unites them (dude, with a statement like that, i can get arrested too 0.o). It's pretty much like an Interact Club we had during our secondary school where people from different places just sit down, get to know each other and have fun. Widen your network ppl!
UPDATED: I Just found out that it's not iStudent Association. It's actually iClub. Whoopsie.
8. BeMU: You are (NOT) alone
Uh.. i forgot what the abbreviation stands for but regardless, it's another socializing club only this one focuses on mental illness. Yeah, sounds pretty scary. The activity pretty much include having talks and spending time with those with mental depression. This year's focus is a campaign against campus isolation (You are not alone) So yeah, the world can be the happiest place ever if everyone's happy, why not make someone happier?
So yeah, that's about all the club i joined so far. Quite a heavy line-up no? there might still be few more the list that i couldnt remember but if i joined anything (or have already joined) any new clubs, i'll keep y'all posted!
Today, the campus finally feels like a campus and our lives as uni students, well, actually feels like one once again. I'm not sure if that's saddening for some people but for me, i rather be out in the sun, venturing from one block to another, looking for classes rather than coping up restless in my room when it's such a nice weather outside. Kinda give me a sense of purpose and according to Dr William de Jean earlier this afternoon "everything we do is for a purpose" followed by, "knock your table"(?) Well, in any case, while mass lectures are already online, tutorials are still put on hold up till next week. This is due to the fact that it is still the uni's orientation week and yeah, booth were set up with all-out open registration for clubs and stuffs. I did joined a few as well (and even planning to join even more tomorrow) and i guess i better note it up here before i forget them. Might serve as some guide for those who havent joined any as well.
1. Malaysian Student Association
Everyone claims that it's compulsory but i'm not so sure. I thought it was just an association, no different than other clubs around but eitherways, everyone was super esteemed to join. When i popped the question to everyone who joined in about why the club is compulsory, the only answer i get is; "i dunno. Got free food"
2. Muslim Student Association
I know how i never have any interest on Nuqaba or pretty much any religious clubs in Malaysia but it'll be a good change to venture and find out how does the religious views differ from around the world, even if it's the same religion. And hey, they have a goodie bag and free candies! lolz
3. Student Publication Association
This isnt really a club but its an organization which publishes... well.. monthly, i think.. magazines. You can submit photos, articles, artworks etc. eventhough you're not a member, provided you stick with the month's deadline. But if you do sign up, you'll get email updates on the magazines. If you always have something worth a scoop for the mag, why not, right?
4. Zines Club
Zines is short for Magazine but, as the name implies, it minifies the concept. Yeah, zines are just simple self-made magazines of your doodles, made for the fun of it with no commercial value or whatsoever. So it you love journalism and art, dream of publishing a mag of your own then this is the club for you.
5. Vote 4 Green!
This is pretty a much political club in which they fought for a greener cause (like global warming and stuff). Think of it as a unit of hippies.. i mean, earth lovers and cross it out with a political society that voices out their rights; and there you have it. Dont vote Greed- Vote Green!! (no, i didnt make that up, it was their catchline)
6. Oaktree Club
No, this has nothing to do with conserving the environment. Oaktree, however, is a charity organization that believes that the world of poverty and hardship can be saved with the power of education. Basically, you can get the idea on how the club activities goes like and if you're interested for the cause, join right in!
7. iStudent Association
Whoo-Hoo!! I joined the ISA! Except this time, the ISA does not arrest people but unites them (dude, with a statement like that, i can get arrested too 0.o). It's pretty much like an Interact Club we had during our secondary school where people from different places just sit down, get to know each other and have fun. Widen your network ppl!
UPDATED: I Just found out that it's not iStudent Association. It's actually iClub. Whoopsie.
8. BeMU: You are (NOT) alone
Uh.. i forgot what the abbreviation stands for but regardless, it's another socializing club only this one focuses on mental illness. Yeah, sounds pretty scary. The activity pretty much include having talks and spending time with those with mental depression. This year's focus is a campaign against campus isolation (You are not alone) So yeah, the world can be the happiest place ever if everyone's happy, why not make someone happier?
So yeah, that's about all the club i joined so far. Quite a heavy line-up no? there might still be few more the list that i couldnt remember but if i joined anything (or have already joined) any new clubs, i'll keep y'all posted!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
OZ so far
Delaqroux Inc Updates
Putting aside all those mediocre blogpost i've made up until now, maybe i should start blogging on the current happenings as usual. There are (finally) things worthy of an update so here's the lineup on what i have been doing so far in Aussie. After all, like the wisemen of blogging always say; too much of an emo blogposts is bad for the blog's publicity.
So first thing up is the food. Due to the reason that fast food here can be pretty expensive and halal-not halal issue is still a.. well.. an issue (did you know that there's an english word for halal? Cant remember what it is at the moment tho), i've been settling for homemade cooking almost everyday. Fortunately, raw ingredients are pretty cheap and our accomodation include a well-equipped kitchen (microwave oven, oven, stove, pots and pans, cutleries, spatula, knives, potato peeler, glasses, plates, wine bottle opener, fridge, bread toaster, kettle... didnt i mention well-equipped?). So yep, it's cooking all the way definitely. Regardless, me, being a terrible cheapskate, a packet of rice and asian-ish ingredients are pretty expensive and it's a total turn off for me. So up till this point, rice and asian food has almost been something in the past. Normally my meal will normally be sphaggeti bolognese (minus the meat however), bread n egg, fish fillet with mixed veggies, muesli cereal etc. etc. Tough life, i admit. But there are also occasional events now and then organized with the inclusion of free food (yay, RICE!) so yep, i... am... a cheapskate.. heheh..
So enough with the food, let's talk about outings.
Ah, yes.. who could forget the god-forbid Macquarie Centre, the nearest mall to our residence which also served as my pasar malam, pasar pagi, pasar borong and pasar juadah up til today. But trust me, i know how my definition of near can sometimes include 30 minutes of walk but with the uphill and downhill, across the campus, 30 minutes walk to Macquarie Centre straight from our village, i am starting to doubt how i define something being near or far already. Yeah, it can get pretty tiring and boring when you see the same shops over and over (Woolworth, Reject Shop, Big W, repeat, repeat again) so a random walking session with Alia a few days back brought us right in the middle of Lane Cove forest reservation park. Well, of course there's nothing there but trees, birds and squirels but hey, at least, that is a change of pace and it wasnt all that bad. Aside to all that, there's finally the mother of all outing spot in Aussie; SYDNEY!!!.. well, i'm not really sure if it's really the mom of all outing place but that's how i've been thinking so far about the place. Planning to venture around the place again soon and if the myth goes that there's nothing much to do around Sydney aside sight-seeing n window shopping, well, I hereby vow to break that myth! LOLZ.. Now to find some crazy companions who are willing to travel around and do crazy stuff with me. I still have none at the moment. Bleh...
Oh yeah, and just a quick line up of updates; remember there is this chinese zodiac prediction which claimed that Snake bearers this year will bleed? Well, yeah, i bled... and it wasnt a pretty sight. But hey, i still have all my ten (wait.. one, two, three, four..) fingers intact up to this point of me blogging so yeah, everything's good and i am still alive and blogging. Heheh.. Let's just keep it at that. So what else... hmm... **spins around on the office chair**
Well, i cant think of anything at the moment. Guess if i ever can think of something later, i'll post it up on a different blogpost. Up til then, stay tuned! =D
Putting aside all those mediocre blogpost i've made up until now, maybe i should start blogging on the current happenings as usual. There are (finally) things worthy of an update so here's the lineup on what i have been doing so far in Aussie. After all, like the wisemen of blogging always say; too much of an emo blogposts is bad for the blog's publicity.
So first thing up is the food. Due to the reason that fast food here can be pretty expensive and halal-not halal issue is still a.. well.. an issue (did you know that there's an english word for halal? Cant remember what it is at the moment tho), i've been settling for homemade cooking almost everyday. Fortunately, raw ingredients are pretty cheap and our accomodation include a well-equipped kitchen (microwave oven, oven, stove, pots and pans, cutleries, spatula, knives, potato peeler, glasses, plates, wine bottle opener, fridge, bread toaster, kettle... didnt i mention well-equipped?). So yep, it's cooking all the way definitely. Regardless, me, being a terrible cheapskate, a packet of rice and asian-ish ingredients are pretty expensive and it's a total turn off for me. So up till this point, rice and asian food has almost been something in the past. Normally my meal will normally be sphaggeti bolognese (minus the meat however), bread n egg, fish fillet with mixed veggies, muesli cereal etc. etc. Tough life, i admit. But there are also occasional events now and then organized with the inclusion of free food (yay, RICE!) so yep, i... am... a cheapskate.. heheh..
So enough with the food, let's talk about outings.
Ah, yes.. who could forget the god-forbid Macquarie Centre, the nearest mall to our residence which also served as my pasar malam, pasar pagi, pasar borong and pasar juadah up til today. But trust me, i know how my definition of near can sometimes include 30 minutes of walk but with the uphill and downhill, across the campus, 30 minutes walk to Macquarie Centre straight from our village, i am starting to doubt how i define something being near or far already. Yeah, it can get pretty tiring and boring when you see the same shops over and over (Woolworth, Reject Shop, Big W, repeat, repeat again) so a random walking session with Alia a few days back brought us right in the middle of Lane Cove forest reservation park. Well, of course there's nothing there but trees, birds and squirels but hey, at least, that is a change of pace and it wasnt all that bad. Aside to all that, there's finally the mother of all outing spot in Aussie; SYDNEY!!!.. well, i'm not really sure if it's really the mom of all outing place but that's how i've been thinking so far about the place. Planning to venture around the place again soon and if the myth goes that there's nothing much to do around Sydney aside sight-seeing n window shopping, well, I hereby vow to break that myth! LOLZ.. Now to find some crazy companions who are willing to travel around and do crazy stuff with me. I still have none at the moment. Bleh...
Oh yeah, and just a quick line up of updates; remember there is this chinese zodiac prediction which claimed that Snake bearers this year will bleed? Well, yeah, i bled... and it wasnt a pretty sight. But hey, i still have all my ten (wait.. one, two, three, four..) fingers intact up to this point of me blogging so yeah, everything's good and i am still alive and blogging. Heheh.. Let's just keep it at that. So what else... hmm... **spins around on the office chair**
Well, i cant think of anything at the moment. Guess if i ever can think of something later, i'll post it up on a different blogpost. Up til then, stay tuned! =D
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I miss you all...
Delaqroux Inc Updates!
One of those things that i have been doing so far throughout my stay here is calling back all those IPBA friends i know in Malaysia on the day they are going to fly off to their respective university. Of course, its kind of encrypted in the code of friendship for one friend to be wishing another good luck and all when they are parting or something... but, doing those calls to wish them goodluck and take care kinda give me some uneasy feeling. Those phone calls are supposed to be long ones, full of meaningful wishes. But everytime i called someone, i kept it really really short. One moment i was so eager to call someone and wish them good luck, pausing from whatever i am doing at the moment. And the next moment when they answered the call; i couldnt wait for the phone call to end so i can get on with whatever i'm doing again. It's weird.
And for the past one week, i was so eager to look for something to do as well (Sorry ppl for being forced to listen to my nagging over and over about not being able to go out and all). As a matter of fact, i will take long walks around the village and to and fro from my house to MacQuarie Centre if the weather is fine (but most of the time it is not. But yet again, i still continue my lil habit of going out). When i got back, my housemates will normally find me trying to squeeze every last bit of recipe that i can come up with with such a limited list of ingredients. When i finally ran out of ideas to cook new dishes, i will go back to MacQ centre and come back with even more ingredients. When it finally reaches the point where i couldnt come up with any new recipe or get new ingredients and the weather was too rainy to go out, i started feeling super pissed (trust me; i was pacing to and fro in my room like a drug addict who ran out of crack). I dunno why but this reaction just got triggered out of my control.
Guess i gotta make a confession that the only reason to all of that weird way of acting is just me missing people and how i'm trying so hard to ignore that feeling. I dont really know how to explain it but i have very limited credit to make phonecalls back home and the internet connection been having plenty of problems that i couldnt contact back Malaysia. So i guess all my homesickness is being piled up in one corner and i try my hardest to get myself busy so i that i can ignore the presence of all those feelings. That explains why was i so pissed off with everything when i couldnt find anything to keep myself busy. So for all those ppl who have been hearing and witnessing my uneasiness, i know how annoying it was and i guess i really need to apologize for that. And for all my friends who have been contacting me from Malaysia, well, you guys arent really helping in my effort to ignore my feelings of missing you all, but i gotta admit, i cant help but to miss you guys alot. So if any of you all get to read this blogpost, i know how i dont want to be reminded of your absence but please dont stop contacting me. I really miss you all and i dont think trying to ignore that feeling gonna work anymore. Really, really miss you all...
Pfft.. and here i was supposed to be enjoying myself... =3=
One of those things that i have been doing so far throughout my stay here is calling back all those IPBA friends i know in Malaysia on the day they are going to fly off to their respective university. Of course, its kind of encrypted in the code of friendship for one friend to be wishing another good luck and all when they are parting or something... but, doing those calls to wish them goodluck and take care kinda give me some uneasy feeling. Those phone calls are supposed to be long ones, full of meaningful wishes. But everytime i called someone, i kept it really really short. One moment i was so eager to call someone and wish them good luck, pausing from whatever i am doing at the moment. And the next moment when they answered the call; i couldnt wait for the phone call to end so i can get on with whatever i'm doing again. It's weird.
And for the past one week, i was so eager to look for something to do as well (Sorry ppl for being forced to listen to my nagging over and over about not being able to go out and all). As a matter of fact, i will take long walks around the village and to and fro from my house to MacQuarie Centre if the weather is fine (but most of the time it is not. But yet again, i still continue my lil habit of going out). When i got back, my housemates will normally find me trying to squeeze every last bit of recipe that i can come up with with such a limited list of ingredients. When i finally ran out of ideas to cook new dishes, i will go back to MacQ centre and come back with even more ingredients. When it finally reaches the point where i couldnt come up with any new recipe or get new ingredients and the weather was too rainy to go out, i started feeling super pissed (trust me; i was pacing to and fro in my room like a drug addict who ran out of crack). I dunno why but this reaction just got triggered out of my control.
Guess i gotta make a confession that the only reason to all of that weird way of acting is just me missing people and how i'm trying so hard to ignore that feeling. I dont really know how to explain it but i have very limited credit to make phonecalls back home and the internet connection been having plenty of problems that i couldnt contact back Malaysia. So i guess all my homesickness is being piled up in one corner and i try my hardest to get myself busy so i that i can ignore the presence of all those feelings. That explains why was i so pissed off with everything when i couldnt find anything to keep myself busy. So for all those ppl who have been hearing and witnessing my uneasiness, i know how annoying it was and i guess i really need to apologize for that. And for all my friends who have been contacting me from Malaysia, well, you guys arent really helping in my effort to ignore my feelings of missing you all, but i gotta admit, i cant help but to miss you guys alot. So if any of you all get to read this blogpost, i know how i dont want to be reminded of your absence but please dont stop contacting me. I really miss you all and i dont think trying to ignore that feeling gonna work anymore. Really, really miss you all...
Pfft.. and here i was supposed to be enjoying myself... =3=
Monday, February 16, 2009
I'm with the wrong bunch of people
Delaqroux Inc. Updates!
Right at this moment, i'm pissed with anything and everything in my line of sight (so stay out of it). I mean, one of the biggest issue in which i'm pissed off about is how i am currently now stuck in a right place with all the wrong bunch of poeple. And this is seriously fucking pissing me off!
Okay, so far, i've been staying here for nearly a week and yeah, aside to walking to and fro MacQuarie centre and occasional random walks, my life here has been nothing worth of mentioning. I mean seriously, the past 5 days and i have to attend some stupid accomodation meetings that discusses on a very friggin draggy issue up til a point that i always have to be back in my room by 6pm. Sometimes the meeting even calls me up to meet those ugly faces of Ipbarians in the early afternoon. Where the fuck can i find time for my own self then damnit!? So that's one thing to be pissed about. Now let's go to the friggin details; the people i am close to. I have one emo indian fella in which no matter how many times i try to convince him that pleasing everyone is a surefailshot (is there such a word as an antonym of surefire?), he kept on trying, only to be emo and emo everyday. And there's nothing i hate more than emo people ecspecially those who are emo for an unworthy cause. As a side note here; If there's any wise-ass out there gonna act cute and say "Adnin, you're an emo", well i say, "No, i am PISSED! Not emo! Stfu n00b!" Aside to that, I got two no life Lee-s out here who does not seem to be in Australia but more to their own world instead of the one we're currently know of. And i have another indian lady out here who has been doing nothing on the first day but to whine about not being able to do anything fun upon our arrival here in Aussie, only to say let's wait for the senior when we finally get the chance to go out somewhere worthwhile. I mean, seriously, what is wrong with you people?? if i didnt promise my mom not to go out anywhere far alone at the moment, i've been exploring sydney like nobody's business at the moment. You guys are seriously stripping my for-once-supposed-to-be-meaningful life! Seriously, whatever fuck is wrong with you people!?
So all in all, my prediction is seriously coming true. I'm stuck in the right place but with the wrong bunch of people.. Pfft... @#$%
Right at this moment, i'm pissed with anything and everything in my line of sight (so stay out of it). I mean, one of the biggest issue in which i'm pissed off about is how i am currently now stuck in a right place with all the wrong bunch of poeple. And this is seriously fucking pissing me off!
Okay, so far, i've been staying here for nearly a week and yeah, aside to walking to and fro MacQuarie centre and occasional random walks, my life here has been nothing worth of mentioning. I mean seriously, the past 5 days and i have to attend some stupid accomodation meetings that discusses on a very friggin draggy issue up til a point that i always have to be back in my room by 6pm. Sometimes the meeting even calls me up to meet those ugly faces of Ipbarians in the early afternoon. Where the fuck can i find time for my own self then damnit!? So that's one thing to be pissed about. Now let's go to the friggin details; the people i am close to. I have one emo indian fella in which no matter how many times i try to convince him that pleasing everyone is a surefailshot (is there such a word as an antonym of surefire?), he kept on trying, only to be emo and emo everyday. And there's nothing i hate more than emo people ecspecially those who are emo for an unworthy cause. As a side note here; If there's any wise-ass out there gonna act cute and say "Adnin, you're an emo", well i say, "No, i am PISSED! Not emo! Stfu n00b!" Aside to that, I got two no life Lee-s out here who does not seem to be in Australia but more to their own world instead of the one we're currently know of. And i have another indian lady out here who has been doing nothing on the first day but to whine about not being able to do anything fun upon our arrival here in Aussie, only to say let's wait for the senior when we finally get the chance to go out somewhere worthwhile. I mean, seriously, what is wrong with you people?? if i didnt promise my mom not to go out anywhere far alone at the moment, i've been exploring sydney like nobody's business at the moment. You guys are seriously stripping my for-once-supposed-to-be-meaningful life! Seriously, whatever fuck is wrong with you people!?
So all in all, my prediction is seriously coming true. I'm stuck in the right place but with the wrong bunch of people.. Pfft... @#$%
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Delaqroux (finally) Live in OZ
Delaqroux Inc Updates
and yes,
LIVE in New South Wales, Australia!!!!
So yep, i am currently in MUV short for MacQuarie University Village. And if there's one thing people have been assuming about Australia is Australia being hot in this time of year right? Well, now that i'm here ready to give you a first hand updates live on the scene, allow me to tell you that here in New South Wales, Australia, it is friggin COLD! Seriously! Freezing! And not just that, the weather here is extreme. Neither extreme hot or cold but rather extremely unpredictable. Imagine, it can go hot, cold, rainy, misty, drizzly, stormy all in just one day! And by the time i'm writing this blog, the weather at the moment is 20 degrees (yesterday dropped to 17 degrees) and i'm (as well as the weather forecaster last night) is expecting stormy weather today. And earlier this morn, it was bright sunlight with temperature of 19 degrees. Yep, wtf.
Aside to that, our accomodation is okay. The word that went around was right that we live in a house of five with five seperate bedrooms and five bathroom respectively. By the time we arrive in the accomodation, it was mighty cold inside (who left the fridge open?) and we were on the search for the air conditioning switch to turn the air-cond off. Nope, there is none. The whole house is strictly chilled by the outside air coming in thru the windows and yeah, it already felt like genting inside the house. Well, as cold as it can be, my room is okay. Pretty comfy and yeah, i actually enjoyed the chill air... eventhough i have no blanket to tuck in at night.... and... yeah... i shivered like a recliner chair every morning... heheh... Regardless, the people around here consist mostly of people from all over the place and most of them are Asians originating from Korea, Japan, China and few other places around the Middle East. There are some Australians obviously and they are pretty nice bunch. Even had this one guy passing by us in a car, laughing at me and Shen-Ann when they saw us walking in the rain... yeah, very nice of them... I admire their hospitality. But, nope, really; they are friendly lots that wouldnt mind a chat with you even if you're just smiling at them.
And if you're next question will be "how is Sydney?", i'm afraid i cant provide the update to that yet coz we havent been there. Yep, seriously. MacQuarie University in Sydney is NOT located in Sydney but rather, miles away from Sydney. We did passed by Sydney on the way here and the city looked awesome. I expecting to receive some travelling coupons by next week and that will provide us with some discounts on travels so yeah, guess next week will be a serious outing week. Regardless by this time, it's all MacQuarie and the MAcQuarie centre, a mall north (well, yeah... i think it's up north) from here which took 30 minutes of our lives everytime we travel to the place (on foot. Taking a taxi or a bus is a bigger bummer as the travelling expenses here can be pretty expensive)
So until then, this is DarkDelaqroux, signing temporarily off Delaqroux Inc Updates Live in OZ and i'll catch you again soon. Cheers!
and yes,
LIVE in New South Wales, Australia!!!!
So yep, i am currently in MUV short for MacQuarie University Village. And if there's one thing people have been assuming about Australia is Australia being hot in this time of year right? Well, now that i'm here ready to give you a first hand updates live on the scene, allow me to tell you that here in New South Wales, Australia, it is friggin COLD! Seriously! Freezing! And not just that, the weather here is extreme. Neither extreme hot or cold but rather extremely unpredictable. Imagine, it can go hot, cold, rainy, misty, drizzly, stormy all in just one day! And by the time i'm writing this blog, the weather at the moment is 20 degrees (yesterday dropped to 17 degrees) and i'm (as well as the weather forecaster last night) is expecting stormy weather today. And earlier this morn, it was bright sunlight with temperature of 19 degrees. Yep, wtf.
Aside to that, our accomodation is okay. The word that went around was right that we live in a house of five with five seperate bedrooms and five bathroom respectively. By the time we arrive in the accomodation, it was mighty cold inside (who left the fridge open?) and we were on the search for the air conditioning switch to turn the air-cond off. Nope, there is none. The whole house is strictly chilled by the outside air coming in thru the windows and yeah, it already felt like genting inside the house. Well, as cold as it can be, my room is okay. Pretty comfy and yeah, i actually enjoyed the chill air... eventhough i have no blanket to tuck in at night.... and... yeah... i shivered like a recliner chair every morning... heheh... Regardless, the people around here consist mostly of people from all over the place and most of them are Asians originating from Korea, Japan, China and few other places around the Middle East. There are some Australians obviously and they are pretty nice bunch. Even had this one guy passing by us in a car, laughing at me and Shen-Ann when they saw us walking in the rain... yeah, very nice of them... I admire their hospitality. But, nope, really; they are friendly lots that wouldnt mind a chat with you even if you're just smiling at them.
And if you're next question will be "how is Sydney?", i'm afraid i cant provide the update to that yet coz we havent been there. Yep, seriously. MacQuarie University in Sydney is NOT located in Sydney but rather, miles away from Sydney. We did passed by Sydney on the way here and the city looked awesome. I expecting to receive some travelling coupons by next week and that will provide us with some discounts on travels so yeah, guess next week will be a serious outing week. Regardless by this time, it's all MacQuarie and the MAcQuarie centre, a mall north (well, yeah... i think it's up north) from here which took 30 minutes of our lives everytime we travel to the place (on foot. Taking a taxi or a bus is a bigger bummer as the travelling expenses here can be pretty expensive)
So until then, this is DarkDelaqroux, signing temporarily off Delaqroux Inc Updates Live in OZ and i'll catch you again soon. Cheers!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Delaqroux LIVE in OZ: Teaser
Delaqroux Inc Updates
And yep, in less than 24 hours from now, i'll be up in the air and on my way straight to Aussie (hopefully it will work out that way- i dont want to star in a whole new version of Lost). So yeah, i have this feeling of blogging something about it but at the same time, i cant think of anything to say. Describing my feelings now would be an awkward thing to do coz literally, i dont feel much of anything. Of course, there's a wee bit of excitement there, some suspense, a tad of laziness (going back to studying mode; bring up the sloth in you anytime, anywhere), a lil bit of emotionality so yep, to sum how i'm feeling now is 45% i-cant-wait-to-go, 45% can-i-just-stay-in-ipba-with-everyone and the remaining 10% is... well... i dont know... unidentified substance and hot gas... huh??
So yeah, now that i'm here; might as well make it to a lil bit of a blogpost for my friends (and fans). So yep, for those who i wont be seeing for the next two years, fellow ipbarians mainly, it had been fun spending time with you guys ecspecially Adam (the only reason his name comes up first is because his name starts with an A and a D... no gay elements intended here), Adelynn, Amy, Anita, Ann, Bee Fei, Chew, Daryl, Estee, Geam, Grace, Ivon, Izzy, Jessica, Kelsey, Kok Lian, Loong, Lucille, Preena, Mun Ting, Nancie, Naveen, Revathy, Seetal, Sem, Sharmyn, Shogi and Vimal (NOTE: Do note me up if i missed anyone.. trying hard to remember everyone at the same time and you know how terrible my brain max cap is). There are some in which i can just never be grateful enough that i have met you people, and unfortunately there are some also in which i wished i've met you guys a lil earlier as not being able to spend time with great people like you guys is a super big dissapointment and among the biggest regrets of my life... (gee.. i sound like i really have a lot of regret in my life...) Gosh, i really feel like posting individual paragraphs just to thank you guys personally (in which maybe i will one day if i really come to it. lolz) Well, that aside, you guys've been awesome friends and with my finger crossing my heart; i swear you guys are the best friends i ever made...
Well, yeah... Darkie was a lil bit of loner before he went to college.. Damn.. His life sucks... Ahem...
Aaaaanyways, for those who will be flying off to MacQuarie University with me (Ann, Lee, Reva and Vimal etc.; of course, you know who you guys are), i look forward to working with you guys and yep, there's a saying that if a man is destined to have the next moment in his life as the best moment ever in his life, it will be greater moment for him if his friends can be there to make it happen... yeah, something like that... well, okay, i've made that up just a few seconds ago but the point is; let's just have some friggin kickass moments of our lives together shall we?! No spam, no hate, just fun- nice clean memorable fun moment of our lives that we're going to treasure altogether aight? I mean, seriously, imagine all the fun we can have with no HEP!!!!! WHOOOOOO!!!!.... wait, did i just say that out loud?
And yeah, i should be dedicating a paragraph for my parents the very least... buuuuut... i'll skip that part out for now - i'm in a lil bit of emo mode now but not that of an emo mode. Guess i'll have another blogpost somewhere for on that. Till then ladies and gentlemen, this your humble blogger Dark A. Delaqroux, putting a "BRB" for his status in Malaysia and signing in to a whole new legion of blogposts LIVE in Aussie. Cheers, mate!
And yep, in less than 24 hours from now, i'll be up in the air and on my way straight to Aussie (hopefully it will work out that way- i dont want to star in a whole new version of Lost). So yeah, i have this feeling of blogging something about it but at the same time, i cant think of anything to say. Describing my feelings now would be an awkward thing to do coz literally, i dont feel much of anything. Of course, there's a wee bit of excitement there, some suspense, a tad of laziness (going back to studying mode; bring up the sloth in you anytime, anywhere), a lil bit of emotionality so yep, to sum how i'm feeling now is 45% i-cant-wait-to-go, 45% can-i-just-stay-in-ipba-with-everyone and the remaining 10% is... well... i dont know... unidentified substance and hot gas... huh??
So yeah, now that i'm here; might as well make it to a lil bit of a blogpost for my friends (and fans). So yep, for those who i wont be seeing for the next two years, fellow ipbarians mainly, it had been fun spending time with you guys ecspecially Adam (the only reason his name comes up first is because his name starts with an A and a D... no gay elements intended here), Adelynn, Amy, Anita, Ann, Bee Fei, Chew, Daryl, Estee, Geam, Grace, Ivon, Izzy, Jessica, Kelsey, Kok Lian, Loong, Lucille, Preena, Mun Ting, Nancie, Naveen, Revathy, Seetal, Sem, Sharmyn, Shogi and Vimal (NOTE: Do note me up if i missed anyone.. trying hard to remember everyone at the same time and you know how terrible my brain max cap is). There are some in which i can just never be grateful enough that i have met you people, and unfortunately there are some also in which i wished i've met you guys a lil earlier as not being able to spend time with great people like you guys is a super big dissapointment and among the biggest regrets of my life... (gee.. i sound like i really have a lot of regret in my life...) Gosh, i really feel like posting individual paragraphs just to thank you guys personally (in which maybe i will one day if i really come to it. lolz) Well, that aside, you guys've been awesome friends and with my finger crossing my heart; i swear you guys are the best friends i ever made...
Well, yeah... Darkie was a lil bit of loner before he went to college.. Damn.. His life sucks... Ahem...
Aaaaanyways, for those who will be flying off to MacQuarie University with me (Ann, Lee, Reva and Vimal etc.; of course, you know who you guys are), i look forward to working with you guys and yep, there's a saying that if a man is destined to have the next moment in his life as the best moment ever in his life, it will be greater moment for him if his friends can be there to make it happen... yeah, something like that... well, okay, i've made that up just a few seconds ago but the point is; let's just have some friggin kickass moments of our lives together shall we?! No spam, no hate, just fun- nice clean memorable fun moment of our lives that we're going to treasure altogether aight? I mean, seriously, imagine all the fun we can have with no HEP!!!!! WHOOOOOO!!!!.... wait, did i just say that out loud?
And yeah, i should be dedicating a paragraph for my parents the very least... buuuuut... i'll skip that part out for now - i'm in a lil bit of emo mode now but not that of an emo mode. Guess i'll have another blogpost somewhere for on that. Till then ladies and gentlemen, this your humble blogger Dark A. Delaqroux, putting a "BRB" for his status in Malaysia and signing in to a whole new legion of blogposts LIVE in Aussie. Cheers, mate!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
A lil wisdom from George Carlin
Delaqroux Inc Updates
Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.
A Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways,but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
George Carlin
Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.
A Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways,but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
George Carlin
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Night of the Living Dead
Delaqroux Inc Updates
Well, a few days back, i was attacked by a zombie horde. It wasnt big enough to be call a horde actually but it managed to freak me out enough to start running like crazy. Let out a few shots but with all of them running towards you from all directions, your aiming is bound to go out of focus and it wont be long before you figure out that its time to run.
Actually it all began when, the head of our survival camp start causing a riot back at the camp. Apparently, one of the kids was being accused of breaking something up in the store. Probably pretty important with them going all out like that at the kid. That was when i thought i could just double-back deep into the city and find something to replace that broken stuff. It could be the comm radio to contact the governments. It never work before but that thing has been keeping the camp of hope and, most importantly, alive. I never really trusted in that kind of shit. That thing about the government will be coming soon, dropping in with escape choppers are just bullshit. The only thing that will drop are just more useless supplies and the whole camp is just gonna fight one another over it. I'm out of those needless fights but eitherways, its good if i just go deeper into the city to find another one of those radio. I doubt the question of such existance of a working comm radio but getting the camp people back together is more important than my own so, it is definitely worth a shot over a stupid radio. It was dark back then so i lighted a flare. Figured those thing wont be looking. A light probably are just gonna blind them, thus keeping themselves away from me.
Well, i was wrong. Apparently, one of those 'things' saw the moving light. I hardly notice that it did and it wasnt really coming close to me. It just stare from a distance without doing anything. That is when i did wrong. Somehow, with that thing alerted with the light and not moving along stupidly as they normally do, it is actually signalling others and trust me, this is the first time i saw them this curious. They all stood up but somehow, i just concentrate on the path and the darkness in front me. I mean, you lighted up the flare and throwing it away up til this point means to put myself in total darkness. Not good. Suddenly, i realized one of them start going towards me, slowly but jaws hanging down, ready to take a bite. Damn, i was freaked out of my wits. However, i realized with such movement, i dont think this 'thing' even knows what it is attacking. It simply attacks. That's dumb (duh.. zombies.. what do you expect?). Figuring that this 'thing' might not be understanding what exactly it is attacking, i tried to convince it that i'm nothing but a light post; stood still and firm and dont move a muscle. It moved along. I left out a sign of relief...
But i have a hunch that i am still in a pickle as long as i got the flare all lit up and i am in this little hell hole. Sure enough, the others are still staring at me and groaning among them. What? Does these things actually communicates with one another? And even more disturbingly, i cant help but to notice that one of them start groaning louder and louder, with bodily movements that seems to be impatient to take a bite off me. Fuck! This isnt good at all. Not another second later, i think all of them are set to take a charge at me! Seriously, one moment ago, i thought these things can actually communicate in a slightly orderly fashion before simply springing at everything, and now, all of them are set to attack something which they are not even sure off- just assuming that its alive and it is edible. Damnit! I gave up, i let out a few shots. Its a long shot but it could work in quieting these zombies down. i mean, they're not even sure what's in front of them, its too dark for them to see and letting out a loud shot might silence them off. And they did! Phew... that was a close one. Regardless, my instinct is still going on full alert. Something tells me that the whole horde will be after me if i dont do something. I mean, after the shot some of them still seems to stare at me curiously and by curiously, i'm sure they actually meant curious if this thing in front of them have a weak point for them to attack. And if a lil loud bang could scare a few, maybe they can figure out that its time to bring the whole horde at once. I definitiely cant let that happen. I need to return back to camp and time IS short, i dont want to spend the night hiding somewhere in the city till the alert level clears out.
That is when i noticed that the first zombie who tried to attack me was looking very stupid. Maybe for this one, the thought of a moving glow that makes a loud sound couldnt be something edible as they thought. This is my chance. I threw the flare far, far away from my position and before i know it, this one zombie went off for a false chase. Fortunately, that thing make so much excited groans that it attracts the rest of the horde. I'm not so sure if they have fully fooled by the bait but i guess it is good enough for me to make an exit. I am save for now. Thank God..
However, i am currently in the dark right now. Nothing will stop me from going deeper in the city but at the same time, i know those things are swarming all over the place now. It might not be safe and i couldnt be as lucky as this. Of course, i might just be playing with my own sense of paranoia but hey, i think i'll try to stay out of sight. After all, time is short and, somehow, i want some entertainment. I went this far into the city already, there's no point in turning back. So deeper i go into the city, moving only in the shadows, trying to remain out of their knowledge, out of sight and hopefully, out of danger...
TO BE CONTINUED
(Heheh.. if you're saying WTF up at this point, its just me with pointless rambling but still in the expository of writing something. Dont mind me :p)
Oh yeah, i did promise to update on our lil Left4Dead adventure right? It's coming right up - Wait for it!!!
Well, a few days back, i was attacked by a zombie horde. It wasnt big enough to be call a horde actually but it managed to freak me out enough to start running like crazy. Let out a few shots but with all of them running towards you from all directions, your aiming is bound to go out of focus and it wont be long before you figure out that its time to run.
Actually it all began when, the head of our survival camp start causing a riot back at the camp. Apparently, one of the kids was being accused of breaking something up in the store. Probably pretty important with them going all out like that at the kid. That was when i thought i could just double-back deep into the city and find something to replace that broken stuff. It could be the comm radio to contact the governments. It never work before but that thing has been keeping the camp of hope and, most importantly, alive. I never really trusted in that kind of shit. That thing about the government will be coming soon, dropping in with escape choppers are just bullshit. The only thing that will drop are just more useless supplies and the whole camp is just gonna fight one another over it. I'm out of those needless fights but eitherways, its good if i just go deeper into the city to find another one of those radio. I doubt the question of such existance of a working comm radio but getting the camp people back together is more important than my own so, it is definitely worth a shot over a stupid radio. It was dark back then so i lighted a flare. Figured those thing wont be looking. A light probably are just gonna blind them, thus keeping themselves away from me.
Well, i was wrong. Apparently, one of those 'things' saw the moving light. I hardly notice that it did and it wasnt really coming close to me. It just stare from a distance without doing anything. That is when i did wrong. Somehow, with that thing alerted with the light and not moving along stupidly as they normally do, it is actually signalling others and trust me, this is the first time i saw them this curious. They all stood up but somehow, i just concentrate on the path and the darkness in front me. I mean, you lighted up the flare and throwing it away up til this point means to put myself in total darkness. Not good. Suddenly, i realized one of them start going towards me, slowly but jaws hanging down, ready to take a bite. Damn, i was freaked out of my wits. However, i realized with such movement, i dont think this 'thing' even knows what it is attacking. It simply attacks. That's dumb (duh.. zombies.. what do you expect?). Figuring that this 'thing' might not be understanding what exactly it is attacking, i tried to convince it that i'm nothing but a light post; stood still and firm and dont move a muscle. It moved along. I left out a sign of relief...
But i have a hunch that i am still in a pickle as long as i got the flare all lit up and i am in this little hell hole. Sure enough, the others are still staring at me and groaning among them. What? Does these things actually communicates with one another? And even more disturbingly, i cant help but to notice that one of them start groaning louder and louder, with bodily movements that seems to be impatient to take a bite off me. Fuck! This isnt good at all. Not another second later, i think all of them are set to take a charge at me! Seriously, one moment ago, i thought these things can actually communicate in a slightly orderly fashion before simply springing at everything, and now, all of them are set to attack something which they are not even sure off- just assuming that its alive and it is edible. Damnit! I gave up, i let out a few shots. Its a long shot but it could work in quieting these zombies down. i mean, they're not even sure what's in front of them, its too dark for them to see and letting out a loud shot might silence them off. And they did! Phew... that was a close one. Regardless, my instinct is still going on full alert. Something tells me that the whole horde will be after me if i dont do something. I mean, after the shot some of them still seems to stare at me curiously and by curiously, i'm sure they actually meant curious if this thing in front of them have a weak point for them to attack. And if a lil loud bang could scare a few, maybe they can figure out that its time to bring the whole horde at once. I definitiely cant let that happen. I need to return back to camp and time IS short, i dont want to spend the night hiding somewhere in the city till the alert level clears out.
That is when i noticed that the first zombie who tried to attack me was looking very stupid. Maybe for this one, the thought of a moving glow that makes a loud sound couldnt be something edible as they thought. This is my chance. I threw the flare far, far away from my position and before i know it, this one zombie went off for a false chase. Fortunately, that thing make so much excited groans that it attracts the rest of the horde. I'm not so sure if they have fully fooled by the bait but i guess it is good enough for me to make an exit. I am save for now. Thank God..
However, i am currently in the dark right now. Nothing will stop me from going deeper in the city but at the same time, i know those things are swarming all over the place now. It might not be safe and i couldnt be as lucky as this. Of course, i might just be playing with my own sense of paranoia but hey, i think i'll try to stay out of sight. After all, time is short and, somehow, i want some entertainment. I went this far into the city already, there's no point in turning back. So deeper i go into the city, moving only in the shadows, trying to remain out of their knowledge, out of sight and hopefully, out of danger...
TO BE CONTINUED
(Heheh.. if you're saying WTF up at this point, its just me with pointless rambling but still in the expository of writing something. Dont mind me :p)
Oh yeah, i did promise to update on our lil Left4Dead adventure right? It's coming right up - Wait for it!!!
Monday, February 2, 2009
...the heck is THIS???
Delaqroux Inc Flashback
I dunno but i just went through my old blog and apparently i found this post... Take a few moment to actually reread it and yeah, guess this best describe my feelings at the moment. Trippy, perhaps. Eitherways, let us have a look shall we?
**OLD POST STARTS**
I love coffee coz coffee makes me happy. In the contrast of most people who claim that they are perfectly normal, i am extremely addicted to coffee, as a matter of fact. But the problem is; overdosage of caffeine equals to one drunk Dark who is high and too happy as well as restless. In fact, I nearly passed out one time right before the SPM exam when i loved to drink coffee too much that i become energetic although i'm tired. It's called imsomniac, i think. That's what Shen-Ann said; to have happy times at night = imsomniac. No, not sex. They're different. Sex makes you happy but the very exercise itself does not limit to nightime only. In other words, you can have sex anytime you want. This is a fact that, basically, the world does not seem to approve (yet)- you can do sex anytime, anyplace. However, various effort have all been focused by many individuals to instill the message that sex IS versatile and flexible. For example, according to Ashlee Simpsons (2006) "You make me wana LahLah in the kitchen, on the floor" clearly states that sex is not limited to bedrooms. To put things more specifically for simple-minded people's understanding, imsomniac is the umbrella term while sex is under imsomniac and its more specific. In another word, sex can be a form of imsomniac but imsomniace is not sexy. Aside to that, some people hate coffee. According to past research, coffee contains high acidic value which might appear to be unpleasant for gastric patients. Similarly, the animosity of gastricians (people who are and self-proclaim to be gastric patients) towards coffee is almost on a similar level too the prejudice of garlic by vampires. If we are to elaborate this facts, vampires should all die as their existence brings tremendous negative impacts towards Malaysia and Thailand's garlic export business. Additionally, the fact on why vampires hate garlic so much is still unknown. However, through close observation on massive garlic plantation in Sabah and lame vampire based movie such as Dracula and Macbeth, vampires possess a mirror version of skin cells known as cloroplas found in green veggies like spinach, lettuce, and ladies' fingers. Before i proceed with my explanation, allow me to clear up some inevitable perplexion you might have. Macbeth IS a vampire movie. A scene which transparently potrays this claim is when Macbeth claim that he can still feel the blood in his hands after he liquify (an euphimism term for "stab the living daylights out of someone") the king. Eventhough his nonsical gibberish was filled with regret, fear and emo-ness, he is, disturbingly, enjoying it- according to William Shakespeare, the man behind Macbeth himself. Regardless to all those and back to the Garlic-Vampire story; vampires, henceforth, constantly doing a counter-photosyntesis effect briefly named as unphotosyntesis, where, unlike plants who grows healthier with the right amount of sunlight, vampires turns into a type of solid substance in large amount according to the body-mass of the vampire beforehand instead. Besides that, vampire hate cross, suggestively hypothizing why "vampire" is not spelled with a "t" as in "vampiret" (pronounced as vam-pirate). However, as how terrorism can be defined as "violence or other harmful acts commited against civilians" (Britannica, 2006), vampires are not terrorists although, vampires do commit act of terror towards civilians. The explanation is apparent, terrorist is spelled with the letter "T". As further elaboration; vampires are not terrorist likewise with George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein. Nonetheless, Tony Blair might be. Even so, it is highly selfish if we are to simply finalize everything spelled with T are terrorists.
In a nutshell (which is spelled with a "T" but clearly not and cannot be terrorists), drinking coffee is undeniably not wrong. Yet, the countercultural community group of coffee haters should not be discriminated as they themselves, similar to vampires, are not terrorist nor are they spelled with the letter "T"
p/s: try analyzing this blog post critically and analytically (if there is such word, that is) and you will find out that i am not drunk- just pissed.
-Dark A. Delaqroux '07 "Happy Halloween!" ^^-
**END OF BLOGPOST**
.....So yeah, can someone tell me what i was thinking back then... '____'
I dunno but i just went through my old blog and apparently i found this post... Take a few moment to actually reread it and yeah, guess this best describe my feelings at the moment. Trippy, perhaps. Eitherways, let us have a look shall we?
**OLD POST STARTS**
I love coffee coz coffee makes me happy. In the contrast of most people who claim that they are perfectly normal, i am extremely addicted to coffee, as a matter of fact. But the problem is; overdosage of caffeine equals to one drunk Dark who is high and too happy as well as restless. In fact, I nearly passed out one time right before the SPM exam when i loved to drink coffee too much that i become energetic although i'm tired. It's called imsomniac, i think. That's what Shen-Ann said; to have happy times at night = imsomniac. No, not sex. They're different. Sex makes you happy but the very exercise itself does not limit to nightime only. In other words, you can have sex anytime you want. This is a fact that, basically, the world does not seem to approve (yet)- you can do sex anytime, anyplace. However, various effort have all been focused by many individuals to instill the message that sex IS versatile and flexible. For example, according to Ashlee Simpsons (2006) "You make me wana LahLah in the kitchen, on the floor" clearly states that sex is not limited to bedrooms. To put things more specifically for simple-minded people's understanding, imsomniac is the umbrella term while sex is under imsomniac and its more specific. In another word, sex can be a form of imsomniac but imsomniace is not sexy. Aside to that, some people hate coffee. According to past research, coffee contains high acidic value which might appear to be unpleasant for gastric patients. Similarly, the animosity of gastricians (people who are and self-proclaim to be gastric patients) towards coffee is almost on a similar level too the prejudice of garlic by vampires. If we are to elaborate this facts, vampires should all die as their existence brings tremendous negative impacts towards Malaysia and Thailand's garlic export business. Additionally, the fact on why vampires hate garlic so much is still unknown. However, through close observation on massive garlic plantation in Sabah and lame vampire based movie such as Dracula and Macbeth, vampires possess a mirror version of skin cells known as cloroplas found in green veggies like spinach, lettuce, and ladies' fingers. Before i proceed with my explanation, allow me to clear up some inevitable perplexion you might have. Macbeth IS a vampire movie. A scene which transparently potrays this claim is when Macbeth claim that he can still feel the blood in his hands after he liquify (an euphimism term for "stab the living daylights out of someone") the king. Eventhough his nonsical gibberish was filled with regret, fear and emo-ness, he is, disturbingly, enjoying it- according to William Shakespeare, the man behind Macbeth himself. Regardless to all those and back to the Garlic-Vampire story; vampires, henceforth, constantly doing a counter-photosyntesis effect briefly named as unphotosyntesis, where, unlike plants who grows healthier with the right amount of sunlight, vampires turns into a type of solid substance in large amount according to the body-mass of the vampire beforehand instead. Besides that, vampire hate cross, suggestively hypothizing why "vampire" is not spelled with a "t" as in "vampiret" (pronounced as vam-pirate). However, as how terrorism can be defined as "violence or other harmful acts commited against civilians" (Britannica, 2006), vampires are not terrorists although, vampires do commit act of terror towards civilians. The explanation is apparent, terrorist is spelled with the letter "T". As further elaboration; vampires are not terrorist likewise with George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein. Nonetheless, Tony Blair might be. Even so, it is highly selfish if we are to simply finalize everything spelled with T are terrorists.
In a nutshell (which is spelled with a "T" but clearly not and cannot be terrorists), drinking coffee is undeniably not wrong. Yet, the countercultural community group of coffee haters should not be discriminated as they themselves, similar to vampires, are not terrorist nor are they spelled with the letter "T"
p/s: try analyzing this blog post critically and analytically (if there is such word, that is) and you will find out that i am not drunk- just pissed.
-Dark A. Delaqroux '07 "Happy Halloween!" ^^-
**END OF BLOGPOST**
.....So yeah, can someone tell me what i was thinking back then... '____'
Sunday, February 1, 2009
From 5050 to 4935
Delaqroux Inc Updates!!
For those who have noticed how my recent shoutout has been "saying goodbye to my laptop", well, yeah its true.. i hv finally parted with my old Acer 5050..
Well the original plan was that for me to change a new laptop before flying overseas. well, there isnt much technical prob with my Acer 5050 only that she does tend to get to go on hang-time whenever too much application is running at the same time. But with the addition of some extra RAM thanks to Lee, my Acer 5050 was up and running fine again that i started to abandon the plan on replacing my laptop at all. Nevertheless, it turned out some days later that my sis wanted to buy that laptop from me. She never had any so she needed at least a second-hand laptop for her works. Knowing how well i took care of my laptop (yesh, i do take good care of my old laptop!), she offered RM1000 for my laptop and knowing how she needed a laptop so bad, i agreed to let it go... sob...
But in any case, i got myself a new one. Its still of the same brand (only better i guess). Model number is 4935 (better have it as a note here coz i have a feeling that i'll have some problem remembering that. Oh and did i say better? Maybe i should rephrase that to better to a certain extend. Am currently facing the prob of net connection. I mean, the connection with the house's routre kept getting disconnected now and then and i dont remember me having this problem anytime before with my old laptop. Aside to that, the processor's power been increased and so does the RAM. Howver, it seems like the gaming graphics been toned down a lil. Guess it's just one of my mom's effort to stop me from installing all manner of ridiculous games in my laptop. Sigh... guess this laptop will strictly be off limits to the fun factor and more towards the work aspect. Maybe i'll update the picture of it soon.
And up till then, i'll see you again (if i ever get my hands off from that connection problem =3=)
For those who have noticed how my recent shoutout has been "saying goodbye to my laptop", well, yeah its true.. i hv finally parted with my old Acer 5050..
Well the original plan was that for me to change a new laptop before flying overseas. well, there isnt much technical prob with my Acer 5050 only that she does tend to get to go on hang-time whenever too much application is running at the same time. But with the addition of some extra RAM thanks to Lee, my Acer 5050 was up and running fine again that i started to abandon the plan on replacing my laptop at all. Nevertheless, it turned out some days later that my sis wanted to buy that laptop from me. She never had any so she needed at least a second-hand laptop for her works. Knowing how well i took care of my laptop (yesh, i do take good care of my old laptop!), she offered RM1000 for my laptop and knowing how she needed a laptop so bad, i agreed to let it go... sob...
But in any case, i got myself a new one. Its still of the same brand (only better i guess). Model number is 4935 (better have it as a note here coz i have a feeling that i'll have some problem remembering that. Oh and did i say better? Maybe i should rephrase that to better to a certain extend. Am currently facing the prob of net connection. I mean, the connection with the house's routre kept getting disconnected now and then and i dont remember me having this problem anytime before with my old laptop. Aside to that, the processor's power been increased and so does the RAM. Howver, it seems like the gaming graphics been toned down a lil. Guess it's just one of my mom's effort to stop me from installing all manner of ridiculous games in my laptop. Sigh... guess this laptop will strictly be off limits to the fun factor and more towards the work aspect. Maybe i'll update the picture of it soon.
And up till then, i'll see you again (if i ever get my hands off from that connection problem =3=)
Public Apology
(IMPORTANTE: PLS READ =D)
well, i guess i owe this for readers for the previous blogpost "Will they kill me if I turn Christian?" which has now been changed to "Living for those who made me alive" (changed due to the fact that most has been misunderstanding this title post with a false fact that i'm trying to convert my religion. Well, i'm not, fear not)
Now that i have gave it another thought, i realize that it might have been offensive to put Christianity as a sample case of religion converting in this blogpost whereby i should have mentioned religion conversion in general. I didnt intend to be in any way offensive by putting the sample case of "converting in Christianity". Believe me, i'm not drawing any lines of religious controversials between Muslims converting into Christianity. It's just a post out of a family problem that i am having, not any religion conversion or controversials. I just realize these reckless mistakes that i've made. With that being said, for both Muslim and Christian readers, i sincerely apologize to you all.
- Dark Delaqroux
well, i guess i owe this for readers for the previous blogpost "Will they kill me if I turn Christian?" which has now been changed to "Living for those who made me alive" (changed due to the fact that most has been misunderstanding this title post with a false fact that i'm trying to convert my religion. Well, i'm not, fear not)
Now that i have gave it another thought, i realize that it might have been offensive to put Christianity as a sample case of religion converting in this blogpost whereby i should have mentioned religion conversion in general. I didnt intend to be in any way offensive by putting the sample case of "converting in Christianity". Believe me, i'm not drawing any lines of religious controversials between Muslims converting into Christianity. It's just a post out of a family problem that i am having, not any religion conversion or controversials. I just realize these reckless mistakes that i've made. With that being said, for both Muslim and Christian readers, i sincerely apologize to you all.
- Dark Delaqroux
Living for those who made me alive
Delaqroux Inc Updates!
To be frank about one thing; i'm not much of a pious person (lolz, guess you're hearing this 100 times from me already). When i was small (8 years old, i think) i can still remember this ustaz asking the class this question: what if someone is having your loved ones at gunpoint, ready to pull the trigger and will only pull back the gun if you defect to your own religion? Will you be willing to betray your own religion? Yep, he kept the question rhetorical with no provided answer. Soon, i found out that more than half of the class said that they wont- religion comes first. Unsurprisingly, Darkie was never on the bandwagon; he chose love first, religion second. Word went to the ustaz that young DarkDelaqroux never gave his preferred answer (though it was supposed to be a rhetorical one.. pfft..) so he came and confronted the lil boy. He claimed that if i choose to save my beloved ones from being killed, i only save that single person. I turned my back on my own religion at the same time so i killed a whole lot of other people by doing so. I got his point but i pretended to be blurr. So he gave me this analogy; what if he (the ustaz) is a psychopath and he threatens me to convert to another religion by wanting to kill Amira (my bestfriend back then), what will i do?
Let's put that reminiscense to a hold and go to the present story. Unfortunately, i wont be reluctant to admit that at times, i seem to see that my family is at the verge of breaking apart. Long story, so let's not go into that yet. Eitherways, regardless to what happens, my priority will always be on my mom and my two sisters. My younger sis is barely in the picture, so let's put her out of the case in the meantime. So yeah, me, my mom and my sis was super close to each other since i can remember. As time grows by, this bond between me, my mom and my sis started to tear apart as my sis seemingly joined the counter-culture of today's Malaysia. Mom was very upset with her and i cant help but to feel the same way too. As time goes by, we started having the thought that my sis has turned her back on me and my mom. we believed she lied to us in alot of situations, she seldom come back home and she seems to be too immersed with her life with her friends than being with me and my mom. While dad keep making alot of statements claiming how bad my sister has turned out to be, i told my mom that maybe we've been using the wrong approach on sis. We kept believing that everything she does are all the acts of turning her back on the family. What if those are just the devils whispering to our ears, wishing our family ties to break permanently? We claim that sis counter-culture involvement is against the religion; but why should we let religion tear our family apart? That's the devil's work, not religion's. I propose that instead of being mad at her for everything that she did to us, why not take a pause and went empathetic for a change? Let's show back to sis that we never meant to be mad at her and we only want her back in the family? Maybe that would make a difference.
Even if what she's doing is against the religion? Hell, yeah, even if whatever she is doing is against the religion, she is still my sister, so yeah, i wont let anything to tear our relationship apart. Dont take me wrong, however. I'm not going anything agaisnt my religion. I just think that it's a necessity to trust someone you love first and giving them chances before simply getting the thought of sins cloud your mind.
Sadly, i'm the only one in the family who took such effort. After proposing such suggestions to mom, she seemed to agree. However, she wanted me to execute it first. I agreed. It seems that sis seems to be more open to me than mom knowing that i can learn to accept anything under the sun if it is for a good cause. After what seems to be forever, i finally get a chance to sit with sis and have a long talk. That day couldnt be more happier for me as, finally, i found out that sis never forgotten her family. She mentioned her stand and it is similar to mine; she wont let anything tear our family ties apart. On one side of the coin, it may still be a lie of hers but i know my sister and i seriously have not the slightest hint that she is lying. She's telling the truth and i'm sure of it. At that very moment as well, i figured maybe there is still a chance of fixing my family after all. Yep, i couldnt be more happier throughout last week...
Nevertheless, before i can tell mom about this discovery, dad lead mom to more ridiculous confrontations with sis, pinning her to a point that kept on marking her as being on the evil and against-the-religion side. I know the saying goes that your parents always know what is best for the children but i'd say, at this point, they messed everything up. I was this close to having sis's trust on the rest of the family again and now, my parents are giving all the reason to doubt any necessity of such trust! (If i may add here: @#$%! @#$%! @#$%@#@$@%#$#%!!!!!!!) Dad who never seem to care about my sis's well being but only to claim that she's screwing the family up, made such statement that he is giving a soft warning to my sis this time but she wont get it easy if she dont act up ("Sekarang ni ayah tegur elok-elok. Jangan bagi ayah buat cara kasar"). The hell with that?! Threatening someone isnt in any way gonna lead the person to move towards the good side. That's bullshit and clearly he is doing his i'm-the-main-man-of-the-family again! And check this out; me, overlooking the confrontation at that moment, started realizing that this seems strangely familiar. It was just like the time when some douchebags organized this outnumbering confrontation on me, accusing me converting my religion last time. I was pinned down, whatever i tell them are considered as lies, they threaten to use 'cara kasar' if they see me again and yeah, they tried out everything to have me to finally admit. I dunno bout you guys reading this but i know the feeling of helplessness when you get outnumbered by gunpoints like this. You know you have a right to speak out but whatever you said will be claimed as words straight from the tongue of deceit. Trust me; it sucks and instead of succeeding in making you to be a better person, it instill more hatred than good.
So, by the time my sis left once again, this whole shit made me think. Mom was on my side last time when i was going through this whole me-converting-to-Christianity-accusation stuff. Dad... well... just stood by the sidelines, refusing to get involve in any of this case. So what if (big WHAT IF), back at that point, the people who confronted me got everything right?; let's say i DID convert to Christianity and they caught me back at that time. In this alternate reality, will mom still stand on my side of the case? Will dad, who normally choose not to get involved in my problems, start beating me to a pulp coz i am the 'devil' now? Or better still, i will be outcasted from my own family?
I'm never a religious person so if i'm to say that i live and die in the name of God, i would be lying. Yeah, against me all you want, but my stand is that i live and die in the name of the people who kept me alive up till this very moment; my loved ones, my friends, my teachers and obviously, my family being playing the biggest role out of all. I cant help it but that is the unfortunate fact that i would have to bear with. I swear that everything that i strive for at the moment is for my family. If i am to die protecting something, it will be my family's life. I am a guy blessed with no close relatives and my family is all i have in my life in terms of my own flesh and blood. Thus I swear it once again that i live FOR my family. So, i would love to know, if i am, for say, to be put in a situation of life and death, will my family be the one preferring to die for me, or will be the one standing by the sidelines? Let's say in that very night of confrontation, i did convert to Christianity; if the punishment for converting out of Islam is death, will my family be my executioner or will my family be the ones helping me escape hell, shoving aside the fact that they're going against their own religion? Of course, i am a Muslim, my whole family is Muslim and it will be the death of me if i am to force them to turn defect something that they believe in. I wont let that happen, obviously but somehow, i'm just eager to find out where the extend of love can go.. I dunno...
How i would die to know this truth. I live for my family, so; do they live for me? Interesting isnt it? Maybe i should ask them one day and if they are actually going to turn their back on me in case of such situations, well, i dunno... maybe there is a good reason for me to stop putting my life everything on the ones i love, but instead, putting my life solely on my own selfish pleasure and my own selfish self only? I wish not of such way, but i guess, life can be unfair at times..
To be frank about one thing; i'm not much of a pious person (lolz, guess you're hearing this 100 times from me already). When i was small (8 years old, i think) i can still remember this ustaz asking the class this question: what if someone is having your loved ones at gunpoint, ready to pull the trigger and will only pull back the gun if you defect to your own religion? Will you be willing to betray your own religion? Yep, he kept the question rhetorical with no provided answer. Soon, i found out that more than half of the class said that they wont- religion comes first. Unsurprisingly, Darkie was never on the bandwagon; he chose love first, religion second. Word went to the ustaz that young DarkDelaqroux never gave his preferred answer (though it was supposed to be a rhetorical one.. pfft..) so he came and confronted the lil boy. He claimed that if i choose to save my beloved ones from being killed, i only save that single person. I turned my back on my own religion at the same time so i killed a whole lot of other people by doing so. I got his point but i pretended to be blurr. So he gave me this analogy; what if he (the ustaz) is a psychopath and he threatens me to convert to another religion by wanting to kill Amira (my bestfriend back then), what will i do?
Let's put that reminiscense to a hold and go to the present story. Unfortunately, i wont be reluctant to admit that at times, i seem to see that my family is at the verge of breaking apart. Long story, so let's not go into that yet. Eitherways, regardless to what happens, my priority will always be on my mom and my two sisters. My younger sis is barely in the picture, so let's put her out of the case in the meantime. So yeah, me, my mom and my sis was super close to each other since i can remember. As time grows by, this bond between me, my mom and my sis started to tear apart as my sis seemingly joined the counter-culture of today's Malaysia. Mom was very upset with her and i cant help but to feel the same way too. As time goes by, we started having the thought that my sis has turned her back on me and my mom. we believed she lied to us in alot of situations, she seldom come back home and she seems to be too immersed with her life with her friends than being with me and my mom. While dad keep making alot of statements claiming how bad my sister has turned out to be, i told my mom that maybe we've been using the wrong approach on sis. We kept believing that everything she does are all the acts of turning her back on the family. What if those are just the devils whispering to our ears, wishing our family ties to break permanently? We claim that sis counter-culture involvement is against the religion; but why should we let religion tear our family apart? That's the devil's work, not religion's. I propose that instead of being mad at her for everything that she did to us, why not take a pause and went empathetic for a change? Let's show back to sis that we never meant to be mad at her and we only want her back in the family? Maybe that would make a difference.
Even if what she's doing is against the religion? Hell, yeah, even if whatever she is doing is against the religion, she is still my sister, so yeah, i wont let anything to tear our relationship apart. Dont take me wrong, however. I'm not going anything agaisnt my religion. I just think that it's a necessity to trust someone you love first and giving them chances before simply getting the thought of sins cloud your mind.
Sadly, i'm the only one in the family who took such effort. After proposing such suggestions to mom, she seemed to agree. However, she wanted me to execute it first. I agreed. It seems that sis seems to be more open to me than mom knowing that i can learn to accept anything under the sun if it is for a good cause. After what seems to be forever, i finally get a chance to sit with sis and have a long talk. That day couldnt be more happier for me as, finally, i found out that sis never forgotten her family. She mentioned her stand and it is similar to mine; she wont let anything tear our family ties apart. On one side of the coin, it may still be a lie of hers but i know my sister and i seriously have not the slightest hint that she is lying. She's telling the truth and i'm sure of it. At that very moment as well, i figured maybe there is still a chance of fixing my family after all. Yep, i couldnt be more happier throughout last week...
Nevertheless, before i can tell mom about this discovery, dad lead mom to more ridiculous confrontations with sis, pinning her to a point that kept on marking her as being on the evil and against-the-religion side. I know the saying goes that your parents always know what is best for the children but i'd say, at this point, they messed everything up. I was this close to having sis's trust on the rest of the family again and now, my parents are giving all the reason to doubt any necessity of such trust! (If i may add here: @#$%! @#$%! @#$%@#@$@%#$#%!!!!!!!) Dad who never seem to care about my sis's well being but only to claim that she's screwing the family up, made such statement that he is giving a soft warning to my sis this time but she wont get it easy if she dont act up ("Sekarang ni ayah tegur elok-elok. Jangan bagi ayah buat cara kasar"). The hell with that?! Threatening someone isnt in any way gonna lead the person to move towards the good side. That's bullshit and clearly he is doing his i'm-the-main-man-of-the-family again! And check this out; me, overlooking the confrontation at that moment, started realizing that this seems strangely familiar. It was just like the time when some douchebags organized this outnumbering confrontation on me, accusing me converting my religion last time. I was pinned down, whatever i tell them are considered as lies, they threaten to use 'cara kasar' if they see me again and yeah, they tried out everything to have me to finally admit. I dunno bout you guys reading this but i know the feeling of helplessness when you get outnumbered by gunpoints like this. You know you have a right to speak out but whatever you said will be claimed as words straight from the tongue of deceit. Trust me; it sucks and instead of succeeding in making you to be a better person, it instill more hatred than good.
So, by the time my sis left once again, this whole shit made me think. Mom was on my side last time when i was going through this whole me-converting-to-Christianity-accusation stuff. Dad... well... just stood by the sidelines, refusing to get involve in any of this case. So what if (big WHAT IF), back at that point, the people who confronted me got everything right?; let's say i DID convert to Christianity and they caught me back at that time. In this alternate reality, will mom still stand on my side of the case? Will dad, who normally choose not to get involved in my problems, start beating me to a pulp coz i am the 'devil' now? Or better still, i will be outcasted from my own family?
I'm never a religious person so if i'm to say that i live and die in the name of God, i would be lying. Yeah, against me all you want, but my stand is that i live and die in the name of the people who kept me alive up till this very moment; my loved ones, my friends, my teachers and obviously, my family being playing the biggest role out of all. I cant help it but that is the unfortunate fact that i would have to bear with. I swear that everything that i strive for at the moment is for my family. If i am to die protecting something, it will be my family's life. I am a guy blessed with no close relatives and my family is all i have in my life in terms of my own flesh and blood. Thus I swear it once again that i live FOR my family. So, i would love to know, if i am, for say, to be put in a situation of life and death, will my family be the one preferring to die for me, or will be the one standing by the sidelines? Let's say in that very night of confrontation, i did convert to Christianity; if the punishment for converting out of Islam is death, will my family be my executioner or will my family be the ones helping me escape hell, shoving aside the fact that they're going against their own religion? Of course, i am a Muslim, my whole family is Muslim and it will be the death of me if i am to force them to turn defect something that they believe in. I wont let that happen, obviously but somehow, i'm just eager to find out where the extend of love can go.. I dunno...
How i would die to know this truth. I live for my family, so; do they live for me? Interesting isnt it? Maybe i should ask them one day and if they are actually going to turn their back on me in case of such situations, well, i dunno... maybe there is a good reason for me to stop putting my life everything on the ones i love, but instead, putting my life solely on my own selfish pleasure and my own selfish self only? I wish not of such way, but i guess, life can be unfair at times..
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