**Scene begins at the Pentagon Top-Secret Meeting Room (CODENAME: MARY J BLIGE)**
Gentlemen, at precisely XXXX hours today, our radar of blog hopping has detected an article which had highlighted on a new threat to mankind.
**Crowds start hustling in anxiety**
What i am about to show you is not highly classified. In other words, this threat may be common to some, but may not be for others. In any case, regarding this threat to mankind, we need not keep it a secret. Instead, as a side mission, spread the words and make sure any vulnerabilities we have towards this threat is exterminated. Mankind needs to know about this potential threat and we have to know it fast. Anyways, gentlemen, i present you...... Charlie...
**KILL BILL shocking sound effect plays in the background, audiences fell into a silence and broke into an even more chaotic hustles. Some start screaming in disgust and horror, while some just scream for no apparent reason... proving how highly potential this potential threat can be to mankind and their sanity**
This is Charlie aka. The Rove Beetle. Well, actually, it's the other way round but in any case. This picture here shows us the image of our adversary with the ability of spreading an epidemic even worse than Talesemia...
**A lady audience raises hands**
Yes?
**Lady audience askes: "Talesemia is technically a genetical epidemic so it does not spread unless both the parents are identified as careers. Hence, labeling Talesemia as being such a contageous infection is incorrect"... Crowd fell into silence**
....Oh. AND YOU'RE A WITCH!!!! BURN HER!!!!!
**Crowd burns smart-ass lady audience**
Ahem... As you can see, we dont negotiate with smart-assness in democracy. In any case, the "ROVE" in rove beetle stands for "Royal Omen Vanquish Everything" and from here, we can see how this Charlie was an omen back in medievil times as being something that will destroy mankind if it is left unnawared and unexterminated. In scientific explanation that does not make any sense at all, the haemolyph (lolz.. Hemo! Hemo! Hemo!!!!! Weeeee!!! XD) in the entire beetle's body (except for the wings) contains the most poisonous animal contact toxin known as "pederin" (or otherwise C24 H43 O9 N aka. "Chon" minus the numbers). As a matter of fact, this toxin is 12 times more poisonous than a cobra's venom... pfft... Ya right...
**Audience laughes and claps in delight**
Contact collision with the beetle while travelling or sleeping, crushing it on the body or smearing with soiled fingers can cause conjunctivitis and severe dermatitis known as dermatitis linearis, paederus (rove beetle /staphylinidae) dermatitis, whiplash dermatitis (lolz.. titis). Additionally, according from an article taken from http://www.jazzeeka.com/, in September 2002 an epidemic of dermatitis linearis caused by rove beetles affected thousands of high rise flat dwellers and dormitory students in Penang, Malaysia. That explains Penang people being retarded... they're actually poisoned!!!!
**Crowd gasps**
Gentlemen, this is no ordinary matter. We need to take full precautionary action to stop these Charlies to stop spreading any viruses among us. Our enemy will be upon us no matter when or where. And chances of terminating the whole species of it may be impossible. But, we can still try..
**Background Music: Medal of Honor Orchestra**
They want to attack us in our sleep, we shall have fine mosquito nettings. They are attracted with the lights in our houses, we shall stay in the dark. They wanna give us an epidemic, well, we DONT squash them like the bugs they are!!!! WE SHALL BLOW THEM AWAY AS GENTLY AS POSSIBLE AWAY FROM OUR SKIN!!!! Gentlemen, i have a dream that no skin shall ever be infected with pederin no more! I have a dream that everyone shall wash with soap upon the body parts that have made physical contact with this bug! I have a dream that those seemingly infected WILL SEEK INSTANT MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!!
**Crowd roars in anticipation**
We shall not let them lay a finger upon us and our children! If it's war they want, its war they shall have!!!! ALL THEIR TOXIN ARE NOT BELONGS TO US!!!!!
**Crowd roars in bigger anticipation, streams of joyful tears drips away from their shiny eyes full of hope and spirit to survive. The whole world was filled with enthuthiasm, will to live, courage to survive and most importantly... darkness and hatred for earth shall only be meant to be lived by human beings and human beings only....**
THE END...
Another community service announcement by Delaqroux Inc.
No comments:
Post a Comment