Sapienphobia?

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Just a few weeks back, all of us had gone off to another trip to Melaka. On the last night of our stay, Adam and Sharmyn fell sick for some unknown reason so they just stayed back in the inn while me, Amy and Vimal went out lepaking around. We got seperated in awhile when i sent Adam back to the inn after dinner. We were supposed to meet up in Dataran Pahlawan and 'coincidentally' Amy and Vimal will be meeting up with Daniel and he is supposed to send them back to the inn. Me, not exactly favouring Daniel's company and still having that mood to stay outside, choose to stay out a lil while longer while they went off with Daniel. When it was around 12am, i called Amy to find out if they're back to the inn yet (I didnt have the keys with me and i dont feel like waking up Adam or Sharmyn to come down and unlock the door). Turned out that Amy, Daniel and Vimal were off to some mamak place sumwhere and they will be back quite late. So i figured its time to go for some solo adventure touring around Melaka. So there was I, out around the empty midnight streets of Melaka all the way til morning comes all by myself.

So, that bring us to the issue here. Within my entire 'adventure' i walked off back from Dataran Pahlawan to Jonker street (by that time, all the stalls and stores were closing) and i lepak there for awhile. I didnt really feel comfortable with the facts that there are rowdy and drunk looking people running around the place. So i ventured off back to a McD outlet near Dataran Pahlwan as i was feeling for a midnight snack. McD was crowded with people, mostly with teenagers who suggestively might not like the idea of sleeping so early back at home. I had my meal and i walked out even when McD is such a merry place with music and free WiFi (i have my psp so i still can surf the net if i choose to spend the night there). I just dont feel like staying. Then i walked off around the park behind Taming Sari tower. I got myself on one of the benches and start staring aimlessly towards the sky. I kinda liked it there. During the day, the park was like the merriest place with kids running around and during the night, it's a romantic atmosphered dating place. Sure enough there was a couple not far from where i was sitting and they were enjoying the moment as well, neglecting my presence but at some point, they walked off away as a bunch of dudes decided to lepak sumwhere nearby and they were quite making alot of noise. I decided to walk off as well. So i thought i might as well walk along the Melaka Bridge overlooking Selat Melaka and the Eye of Melaka. However, i took the long detour around the A Famosa and all the museums. It has that creepy feeling when the places were all darked and knowing the fact that the place was a battlezone back then hinted that the place might be a lil haunted based on standard society's norm. Nonetheless, i took my time and walk leisurely. THere were nobody else there and i actually enjoyed the sightseeing. Soon, i reached the Melaka Bridge. I immediately doubled back as the Bridge was full of bikers parking by the sides and chatting along. I found myself walking alongside an unfinished high way. Obviously, there was no one there and it lead to the construction site by the Melaka river. As the place was supposed to be off-limits, it was empty, i ended up lying on one of the finished pathways right next to the river and had a good moment for myself back there all the way til i get a call from Amy that they;re back at the inn.

So, comparing the moments where i actually sat down and spend quite some time in one place and not in the other made me to establish a link between such actions. Why didnt i spend my time in some places but not on the other? I can just sit in Jonker street perhaps in one of the public pubs but i didnt. McD was a safe and sound place to spend the night until Amy returned back to the inn but i walked out after my meal. I can just stay in the nice park but i left when i got merrier company. I can just join along the bikers at Melaka Bridge and mind my own business while they do with theirs. Instead, i choose to go places where there's nobody else around. Hence, i found out that i dont enjoy the presence of other human beings around me. And when i think about it, while i was walking around i tend to look around the place to find out if there's any other human beings in the vicinity. As long as there's none, i will enjoy my leisure walk back at that place. And there were Vimal and Daniel both believing in the fact that Melaka streets are haunted as back in the history, lots of fightings and deaths occured almost everywhere. But then the fear of the supernatural never bothered me at all. I mean, i went to the Portugeise tomb and i actually enjoyed the cold breeze on top of the mountain at exactly 3am. I'm aware that going to tombs 3am at night might not be a fine idea but all i ever thought was; if there's such things as supernaturals roaming around, we're cool as long as i dont do something to disturb or piss them off (to tell you the truth, i got excited of the thought that i might make encounter at the tomb). They wont scare you if you dont make them to do so. But real living humans are different. Almost 90% victims of murder, rape or robbery has nothing to do with the ones commiting them. You never disturb them and yet, girls get jeered at or even raped and guys get mugged or beaten for the fun of it. So i have drawn a conclusion that all this while of me telling people to take care of themselves and one another, do not walk in a quiet street alone and only go to a place when you have friends around you; is all because that i fear humans. Humans are scarier than any other forms known to man. We neednt fear things that we cant see like ghosts or portugeist, neither do we need to be afraid of animals that will only harm you if they sense their safety is threaten- in fact, there's nothing for man to fear except man themselves (no, not fear themselves).

I found humans are scary. So i am suffering from... sapienphobia?